"WHO AM I NOT TO HAVE THIS BRILLIANT KIND OF LUCK?!" said a ~voice~ inside my head.
I didn't even realize it but I'd been entranced for a moment. Lost in thinking about how LUCKY I am for all the amazing people and situations and wonderful happenings currently taking place in my life.
Kind of lost in awe and thanks, y’know?
And just as I was revelling in the Magic of it—feeling so supremely happy with how things are playing out—this physical wash of a secondary emotion quickly came over me.
It felt familiar, yet somehow distant.
A sudden pit in my belly, a flush of heat to my face, a tightening in my chest. At first I couldn’t quite pin-point the exact emotion until I realized EXACTLY what limiting belief was popping up and causing an emotional reaction: Unworthiness.
Oh, yeah, you.
The dialogue then went along a little something like this:
“Oh, hello, old friend. I thought we’d parted ways already.”
But like a broken record, the voice behind the belief continued with its usual rant:
“Who AM I to have this sort of luck? What did I ever do to DESERVE it?!”
Then, almost immediately but very softly, I heard the voice of my new/not-so-new Higher Self chime in:
“Who are you NOT to have this sort of luck? Shift to gratitude, my dear, and be THANKFUL. You’re not greedy, you are blessed. You are worthy. You are ready to be seen and have YOUR true essence shine through your very Being. Your truth. Through your words. Through your authentic way of BEING in the world.”
She continued, “These new opportunities will enhance all of that and allow you to make an even greater impact on the world... so we ALL benefit.”
There was nothing even my darkest ego voice could say to refute that.
So they kept quiet.
And now here I am, overcoming resistance and channelling this little life lesson of mine to you. A reader/loved one out there somewhere.
It’s funny, I used to think this writing would be for you. But the truth is, it's not. It's for me. And maybe it resonates with you, too. Or maybe it doesn’t. But either way, expression is the whole point.
And if any wisdom I’ve learned lately has stuck in my brain, it’s that when we take the time to heal and express our truest selves, it creates a ripple effect of light energy across the earth... and we ALL benefit.
Light overcomes darkness. Love quiets fear. It’s a pretty amazing thing.
So, yeah. Practice gratitude. And be brave. Take people up on offers even if they don’t make sense right away and dive into opportunities that feel exciting in your belly... maybe even a little iridescent inside your noggin’. Even if it’s scary. Take the chance.
Because although we can’t conquer fear altogether, we can give it less authority and control over our actions.
Elizabeth Gilbert, in her incredible book Big Magic, likens this practice to going on an epic road trip with Creativity and being forced to bring Fear along. The kicker is, however, that fear is allowed to be there to do its job in keeping you safe and staying focused and along with Creativity), but not letting it have any say in things like type of music, route suggestions, or car temperature:
Shine your light. Trust your gifts. Express yourself. And don’t let fear touch that dial.